another haiku for someone that did not deserve it

when the loverboy in me comes out, why do i always get embarrassed?

if i rolled my eyes at myself any harder, they’d pop out of their sockets.

the nine inch nails and johnny cash both start out singing, “i hurt myself today”. and i guess i start this blog today with that same sentiment.

this one will be short and sweet. but first, some context.

over these last few weeks, i’ve lost my fucking mind. i gave in to every drop of desire and ounce of lust for someone… and it’s been fun. but it’s also been a neverending litany of anxiety. i sleep with someone, the connection is electrifying - and somehow, despite knowing better, my heart and my mind have to conflate the titillation and lust with genuine attraction… and… dare i say? even love? it can’t be.