from coconut trees to the oval office: kamala's wild ride
biden drops out, endorses harris. what's next for dems in 2024?
tl;dr: biden's out, kamala's in, and american politics just went full veep. we're diving into what this means for the dems, the 2024 race, and why coconut trees are suddenly relevant to the presidency. buckle up for a rollercoaster ride through memes, veepstakes, and the wild world of last-minute nominee swaps. grab your cafecito and settle in for a 10-minute read that'll leave you saying, "we did it, joe" (or did we? 🤔).
hola mis bellezas,
tonight i am burning the midnight oil to bring you some fresh, new hot takes. remember that scene in veep where selina meyer finds out she's gonna be president and gary gets so excited his nose starts bleeding? well, mis panas, life just imitated art in the wildest way possible. except instead of a nosebleed, we got a coconut tree. 🥥
yeah, you read that right. in a plot twist that would make even armando iannucci's head spin, joe biden just dropped out of the 2024 race and endorsed kamala harris as his successor. suddenly, all those kamala memes we've been giggling about? they're not just funny anymore - they're prophecy.
so, let's break this down, because puñeta, there's a lot to unpack here. grab your favorite stress ball (mine's shaped like trump's head, don't judge), and let's dive into this clusterfu-- of coconuts and political chaos.
how we got here: debate disaster and the coconut chronicles
i'm not going to lie - i'm still pinching myself. it's only been three weeks and some change since biden's debate performance, and dios mío, what a three weeks it's been. that debate? it was... como se dice... a dumpster fire wrapped in a train wreck served on a bed of "oh no he didn't." it was so bad, it made my burnt arroz con gandules look like a michelin star meal. historians are already calling it the most catastrophic general election debate since... well, ever. move over, nixon's sweaty upper lip - we've got a new champion of cringe.
and then, the dominoes started falling. pressure built inside the party. democratic leaders started calling for biden to drop out, some even demanding his resignation. trump started pulling ahead in the polls.
and just when we thought things couldn't get more surreal, trump's ear gets grazed by a would-be assassin (he's fine), biden catches covid (again), and then... bam! biden drops out.
it's like we're living in a political thriller written by a bunch of borrachos on a three-day bender. real life is becoming more and more like veep every day, and i don't know whether i’ll be laughing or crying into my coquito later this december. thankfully, mexico is not too far away...
but here we are, mis amores. in the blink of an eye, we've gone from "no malarkey" to "madam president-to-be."
so strap in, grab your popcorn (or tostones, i don't judge), and let's unpack this locura. because whether you're team kamala, team "anyone but trump," or team "what the actual hell is happening," one thing's for sure: american politics just got a whole lot more interesting and complicated.
the road to chicago: what happens now?
alright mis amores, strap in because we're about to navigate the political equivalent of a salsa dance on a tightrope. biden's out, kamala's... maybe in? let's break it down.
first things first: biden's endorsement doesn't automatically make kamala the nominee. i know, i know, it's like your abuela's blessing - it carries weight, but it doesn't seal the deal. the real decision-making happens at the democratic national convention in chicago from august 19-22, 2024. so, mark your calendars, folks!
![](https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/w_1456,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fba8a663f-52cc-43ad-aa56-b81fb9f932ec_1024x768.png)
here's the 411 on how this locura works:
there are approximately 4,672 delegates total
3,933 are pledged delegates (the regulars)
739 are automatic delegates (aka superdelegates - the party bigwigs)
to win, a candidate needs 1,968 pledged delegate votes on the first ballot
kamala's got momentum, but it's not a done deal:
biden's endorsement is huge, like finding the last bottle of coquito at a christmas party
the democratic national committee is circulating a letter of support for harris (according to semafor)
but remember, politics is unpredictable - like trying to guess which tía will start drama at thanksgiving
other dems might jump in:
with biden out, it's an open convention, mi gente
all those delegates who were team biden? they're free agents now, like a political version of free salsa night
we could see other candidates throwing their hats in the ring faster than you can say "¡wepa!"
"blitz primary": a quick, intense race to win over delegates
open convention: imagine a political mercado where everyone's haggling for votes
party leaders might try to rally behind harris to avoid chaos (because let's face it, we've had enough of that lately)
the key thing to remember? your voice matters. whether you're team kamala, hoping for a dark horse candidate, or just trying to understand what the heck is going on, stay engaged.
because at the end of the day, this circus is about choosing the person who'll be fighting for our rights, our communities, and our future.
so grab your popcorn (or tostones, i don't judge), keep your eyes peeled, and let's watch this political telenovela unfold together. who knows? maybe by the end of it, we'll all be experts in delegate math and convention procedures. stranger things have happened - like, you know, a coconut tree becoming a political meme.
the veepstakes: balancing the ticket
if it’s kamala or someone else - whomever snags the nomination will need a vice presidential candidate to complete the ticket.
here are some top contenders, with a little context for those of you who don't spend your free time memorizing politician baseball cards:
pete buttigieg: the wunderkind of the democratic party. former mayor of south bend, indiana, current secretary of transportation, and the first openly gay cabinet member. he's young, smart, and can probably pronounce "infrastructure" better than most of us.
roy cooper: north carolina's governor since 2017. he's managed to win in a swing state and has a reputation for being a moderate democrat. plus, he's got that southern charm that makes you want to sip sweet tea on a porch.
jb pritzker: illinois' governor and heir to the hyatt hotel fortune. he's known for his progressive policies and deep pockets. think of him as the democrats' answer to trump, but with less spray tan and more actual billions.
gretchen whitmer: michigan's governor since 2019. she gained national attention during the covid-19 pandemic and for standing up to right-wing militias. she's tough as nails and could probably out-grit a sandpaper factory.
andy beshear: kentucky's democratic governor in a deeply red state. he's like a political unicorn - a democrat who can win in mitch mcconnell's backyard. if he can make it there, he can make it anywhere, right?
but hey, porque soñar no cuesta nada (dreaming costs nothing), here's my pipedream vp shortlist:
tammy baldwin: wisconsin's senator and the first openly lgbtq+ person elected to the u.s. senate. she's a progressive powerhouse who could energize the base faster than you can say "cheese curds."
raphael warnock: georgia's reverend-turned-senator who's flipped more seats than a waiter on a busy night. he's a southern preacher and could help so much to keep georgia blue. warnock could energize the black vote and give kamala some serious backup in those senate showdowns.
jared polis: colorado's governor and the first openly gay man elected governor in the u.s. he's a tech millionaire turned politician who's as comfortable talking about blockchain as he is about education reform.
now, i know what you're thinking - "eddy, some of these picks are about as likely as finding good pasteles in alaska." and you're not wrong. but hey, politics is unpredictable! who would've thought we'd be here talking about kamala harris becoming the nominee after a coconut tree meme went viral?
the vp pick is crucial. it's not just about geography or demographics - it's about complementing the nominee's strengths, shoring up their weaknesses, and creating a ticket that can excite voters.
what it all means: the big picture
look, we're in uncharted waters here. this is the political equivalent of improvising a sofrito with whatever you've got in the fridge.
according to fivethirtyeight, biden's approval rating was hovering around 39% before he dropped out. that's lower than a limbo stick at a puerto rican day parade! some folks think ditching biden was the smart move - like swapping out day-old tostones for fresh ones. but others worry that the dems' problems run deeper than just one abuelo-in-chief.
here's the tea: we don't know if kamala (or any dem) can beat trump just yet. recent polls show trump leading biden in five of six battleground states. coño, that's scarier than running out of coquito on new year's eve. we don't know if voters will forget about inflation faster than they forget about biden's gaffes. and with the consumer price index still up 3% from last year, people's wallets are feeling lighter than a piragua on a hot day.
we also don't know if public opinion has shifted right or if it's just hangry for change. pew research center reports that trust in government remains near historic lows, with only 16% of americans saying they trust the government in washington to do what is right "just about always" (2%) or "most of the time" (14%).
what we do know is this: the dems are taking a big swing. they're trading in their unpopular nominee for a wild card, hoping to change the game faster than you can say "¡wepa!" it's risky, it's bold, and it's gonna be one hell of a ride. this is unprecedented in modern political history. the last time a sitting president dropped out of the race was lyndon baines johnson in 1968. and even then, it was not this late in the race.
we're truly in a new frontier of american politics. get ready, mis amores. whether this turns out to be a political masterpiece or a desastre, one thing's for sure - it'll be more dramatic than a telenovela finale.
my two cents (because y'all know i've got hot takes)
look, politics is one of my life-long passions and i follow them closely. i've seen campaigns rise and fall faster than the tide at luquillo beach. and i'm not the only one feeling like we're in a political twilight zone. in my almost four decades of watching this circus, i've never seen a plot twist quite like this.
but here's the thing: unprecedented doesn't mean impossible. kamala's got the chops, she's got the experience, and now she's got the opportunity. she's faced tougher challenges than this - from taking on big banks as california's attorney general to grilling supreme court nominees in the senate. and let's not forget, she's already made history as the first woman, first black person, and first person of south asian descent to be vice president. if anyone can turn this political sancocho into a gourmet meal, it's her.
so here's my call to action, mis amores: let's rally behind kamala. let's turn those memes into dreams, those awkward moments into powerful movements. because at the end of the day, we're all in this coconut tree together, trying to make sense of this locura we call democracy.
and joe biden? that man's got cojones of steel. stepping aside like he did? that's some george washington-level patriotism right there. in a world where politicians cling to power like a chihuahua to a chew toy, biden's move is straight-up revolutionary. he's earned my respect. 🇺🇸✊
and who knows? maybe in a few months, we'll be watching kamala take the oath of office, turn to the camera, and say with a wink, "we did it, joe." she might just surprise us all and prove that sometimes, the most unexpected journeys lead to the most extraordinary destinations.
what do you think? are you ready for president harris? who's your dream vp pick?
let me know in the comments, and remember… keep it spicy, keep it fun, and for the love of all things holy, don't fall out of any coconut trees -
edgard 🥥✌️
Eddy, your take on the Biden-Harris switcheroo is spot-on and hilarious. I'm living for your veepstakes rundown - especially that dream shortlist. Also, can we talk about other potential dark horse candidates? I mean, if we're throwing political norms out the window faster than last season's trends, who else might jump into this circus? I'm on the edge of my seat waiting for your next hot take.
i love the unrealistic picks thooooo