on comebacks, curveballs, & chaos
navigating life's surprises with humor and honesty
hey y'all,
so... remember when i came back all fired up and ready to conquer the world with my writing? yeah, about that... 😅
turns out, i might have been a tad overambitious. or maybe mercury is in retrograde again? (i really don’t know.) or perhaps my cat ate my charger. (i don’t own a cat.) whatever the excuse, the fact remains: i completely dropped off the face of the earth and ghosted you all like a bad tinder date. oops?
i promised you mondays alternating between personal essays and deep dives. i promised you one queer thing on thursdays. i even teased the possibility of saturday sparks. and what did i deliver? radio silence. tumbleweeds. the digital equivalent of me hiding under my blankets and pretending the world doesn't exist.
i’ve been busy but good
but here's the thing - life has a funny way of throwing curveballs when you least expect them.
while i was MIA from this blog, something pretty amazing happened: i won the larry t baza scholarship, awarded by the lambda archives right here in university heights, san diego! 🎉 it's a huge honor, and i'm still pinching myself. (thank you, lambda archives!) this scholarship is extra special to me because larry was a chamorro queer person that loved his community and did a lot for it. he was a strong and active advocate for human rights, and for artists in our community — especially bipoc artists. he’s no longer with us, but the work and the legacy he’s left has helped someone like me. larry was from guam, a u.s territory. i’m from puerto rico, also a u.s. territory. felt like a beautiful full circle legacy moment. (thank you, larry.)
i’ve also been trying to relax and have gotten a little carried away. i’m spending the summer enjoying it a bit more before i head back into school in august!
yep, i’ve been spending time with my nephew, seeing friends, working out, and enjoying the summer. soon enough i’ll be hitting the books again. i’m currently working towards a bachelor's in political science and public administration. right now, i'm grinding away at my associate's degree. it's like scoring an early psychological win on the road to that bachelor's. plus it saves me from the bureaucratic nightmare of figuring out what transfers and what doesn't! trust me, after dropping out in 2010, i've learned my lesson about navigating the labyrinth of higher education.
(side note: remind me to share with you all my full saga with higher education someday. we could call it "the story of a person with undiagnosed adhd that they didn't find out about until they were 32". spoiler alert: it involves a lot of coffee, republican budget cuts, missed deadlines, and existential crises.)
so here i am, hat in hand, coming clean to all of you wonderful humans who've stuck with me through thick and thin (and apparently, through complete radio silence).
i messed up. i dropped the ball. i let my enthusiasm write checks my productivity couldn't cash.
but you know what? i'm not giving up. i'm picking myself up, dusting off the cheeto crumbs, and getting back on that metaphorical horse. because you deserve better, and frankly, so do i.
hitting the reset button
so here's the deal: i'm hitting the reset button. starting next week, we're going back to basics.
monday? you bet your ass there'll be a deep dive or a personal essay waiting in your inbox. thursday? one queer thing, come hell or high water. and saturdays? well, let's not get ahead of ourselves. baby steps, right?
i want to thank you all for your patience, your understanding, and your willingness to put up with my flaky ass. you're the real mvps here.
so, who's ready to jump back on this rollercoaster with me? fasten your seatbelts, keep your arms and legs inside the vehicle at all times, and let's see where this wild ride takes us next.
meme dump time
because laughter is the best medicine (except for actual medicine, probably) - here’s today’s meme dump. let’s begin.
oh lord, this meme is just chef's kiss dark humor perfection. as someone who's survived more than a few questionable 4th of july celebrations myself, i can't help but cackle at the idea of heaven gaining a few extra digits every independence day. it's like the afterlife is trying to give us a thumbs up, but keeps getting more & more enthusiastic with each firework mishap. maybe this is why they say angels play harps and not guitars - too many spare parts floating around up there?
note to self: if i ever make it to the pearly gates, i'm bringing gloves. lots and lots of gloves. 🧤👐
listen, you beautiful bastards, i've seen the face of madness, and it's a neon green blob slumped over a table after a zoom call. that's me, yours truly, melting into a puddle of pure exhaustion and existential dread, hahaha! working from home isn't the paradise they promised - it's a twisted carnival of endless meetings and the constant temptation of your bed just feet away. one minute you're a professional, all business and fake smiles, the next you're this amorphous creature, more primordial ooze than human, wondering if pants were ever really necessary in the first place. the "end meeting" button isn't just a function, it's a gateway to sweet, sweet freedom. a portal back to a world where you can scratch yourself with impunity and let loose the primal scream you've been holding in for the last hour. this, my friends, is the true face of the modern workforce - green, gelatinous, and utterly done with your shit. welcome to the american dream, 2024 edition. 🦠💻🍹
blast from the past: greatest hits you might have missed
• "on friendship: navigating loyalty and ethics" - where i ponder the age-old question: should friends split the bill or just fight to the death over who gets to pay?
• "one queer thing: 'rebel girl' by bikini kill" - in which i reminisce about my punk rock awakening and make a compelling case for starting a mosh pit in your living room
• "on progress & those who fear it" - aka, my ted talk on why change is good and dinosaurs are extinct for a reason (looking at you, climate change deniers)
how to keep this train wreck on the tracks (aka supporting your favorite chaos gremlin)
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together, we can make this blog a beacon of queerness, humor, and occasional coherent thoughts.
let's do this thing! 🌈💪🏽
until monday (i promise, for real this time),
edgard 🧡
p.s. if anyone has tips on how to extract a half-eaten sourdough starter from a kitchen ceiling, hit me up. asking for a friend.
p.p.s. seriously though, thank you all for sticking around. your support means the world to me, especially as i juggle school, scholarships, and this wonderful community we're building here. let's make some magic happen!