on letting people be wrong

embracing peace over others' perceptions

“Last Fuck. Sorry, I’ve Only Got One Left.” One of my favorite t-shirts, via Bad News Wares.

there’s a quiet torment in the need to be understood. and i get it. we often spend so much time in ourselves and with ourselves, we desperately want others to see us for who we are and to appreciate it. it’s a basic, reasonable human need.

but i’ve found that a huge source of my anxiety in relationships—and even in general—stems from this innate and desperate desire for others to get me, to see me as i am. it’s an annoying, people-pleasing compulsion, one that grinds against the soul at times.

but sometimes people just won’t get you. sometimes, they really can't.

their perspectives are limited by their own experiences, their own biases. they see the world through lenses that distort and filter, and in that distortion, they might never truly see you.

others will misunderstand you on purpose. they will twist your words, bend your intentions, and frame you in a way that suits their narratives and their cherry pickings. it’s frustrating, maddening even, but it’s a reality we must face.

then there are those who simply cannot see past themselves. their projections, their insecurities, their own inner turmoil cloud their vision, making it impossible for them to perceive you accurately. they create a version of you that exists only in their minds.

here’s a hard truth i’ve come to accept: it’s okay to let people be wrong about you.

it’s okay to let people carry their misconceptions, their flawed interpretations. because at the end of the day, their perception of you doesn’t define who you are.

your worth isn’t dictated by someone else’s understanding or lack thereof.

i used to twist myself into knots trying to correct these misunderstandings, trying to force clarity where there was none. this was especially excruciating for me when someone would say they didn’t like me. i’d contort and people please and corrode. all it did was exhaust me. it left me bereft, hollow, and unseen.

liberation came when i realized that i don’t have to explain myself to everyone. not everyone is worthy of that energy, that effort.

it’s important to value community and connection, but it’s equally important to place that value on the right people. we must care about those we are invested in, those we love as community members. their opinions matter because they see us, they understand us, and they support us. the energy you spend trying to change the minds of those who don’t really matter is energy wasted. save that energy for those who truly see you, who value you.

however, this insight comes with a crucial caveat. letting people be wrong about you is not about fostering narcissism or abject self-interest. it’s not a free pass to disregard others' feelings or perspectives. it’s about recognizing when it's unproductive and unhealthy to engage, especially when dealing with those who aren’t invested in your well-being. use this mindset as a tool for self-nurturing, not as a shield for selfishness.

there’s power in letting go, in smiling and allowing people to be wrong.

it’s not your failure, but a reflection of their own limitations.

embrace the freedom that comes with not having to be understood by everyone. i’ve found peace in this acceptance. it’s a quiet, steady peace that comes from within, not from external validation. it’s the strength to stand firm in my truth, to let my light shine without dimming it for others’ comfort.

so, if you find yourself anxious, desperate to be seen and understood, remember this: it’s okay to let people be wrong about you. it’s okay to prioritize your peace over their approval. your journey is yours to walk, and not everyone needs to understand your path for it to be valid and true.

let them be wrong. and let yourself be free. te quiero.