oh Ginger. i am so sad and mad for you that you have also experienced that as well. thanks for sharing your experience because this still fucking shakes me! like… one of my most vulnerable moments, a trauma, weaponized. it’s the worst. i never handle it well. i feel you on being a clam!!! happy to have found you too, thank you!!!! 🥹☺️😍🥰
Omg. Bone collectors is such a great imagine for this. I’ve definitely regretting sharing certain things with people, and it’s the same for me of like, feeling like why didn’t I learn my lesson. I guess we have to learn somehow! I used to be very quiet and scared to sharing anything, and now I’m not as much scared, but more mindful if anything. From things like, is this the right time for this lil story time? Or can I trust this person to be vulnerable with them? Or should I still give it time? The ways people talk about others or share other people’s stories or secrets are what I try to pay attention to, to gauge my own openness with them. Being vulnerable is hard enough. My mom would tell me “you don’t have to tell everything to the whole world, you get to keep some secrets for yourself and you can take those to the grave”. And honestly, YEAH. I agree! It feels nice to have something for yourself too, that you can nurture and hold how you want, not how others tell you that you should.
oh my god the chameleon thing is so real!!! my coworkers that actually have the privilege of KNOWING™️ me have named my “straight” alter ego at the office “susan” 🙈🤭😹💀 also i love all of this! i’m very selective about who i feel comfy telling about the reason i’m no contact with certain family bc it’s been used against me by bone collectors in the past. i feel u on the adhd urge to overshare and connect, and working to find the balance somewhere in between the public library and the vault.
BAHAHAHA, "Knowing" with a trademark. That part. I really feel you on the existence of Susan, because working in construction, the shit these people would say to me all the time. I'm glad that I was able to pass for the most part, but sometimes one of them would get mouthy with me and gay-vestigate me. It was fucking uncomfortable. And this is all without mentioning the other bone collectors - the co-worker that watches tour every move to have dirt on you, etc etc. People are out here trying to fuck us up! And here I am, oversharing like I didn't learn my lesson. It's a tough balance to achieve.
This is GOLD. I have also shared sexual trauma, and it was turned around on me. It hurts, and in that case it ruined my life for a long time.
It also made me a damn clam, unable to share anything, until I came to substack - the only place in the world where I am openly bisexual.
Fantastic writing and advice! Glad to have found youuuuu!
oh Ginger. i am so sad and mad for you that you have also experienced that as well. thanks for sharing your experience because this still fucking shakes me! like… one of my most vulnerable moments, a trauma, weaponized. it’s the worst. i never handle it well. i feel you on being a clam!!! happy to have found you too, thank you!!!! 🥹☺️😍🥰
🙏🏻🙏🏻😘😘
Mi gente!!! 👏🏻
hey!!!! 🙌🙌🙌 here we are!!! :) thanks for checking my blog out, Ginger ❤️🥰
Omg. Bone collectors is such a great imagine for this. I’ve definitely regretting sharing certain things with people, and it’s the same for me of like, feeling like why didn’t I learn my lesson. I guess we have to learn somehow! I used to be very quiet and scared to sharing anything, and now I’m not as much scared, but more mindful if anything. From things like, is this the right time for this lil story time? Or can I trust this person to be vulnerable with them? Or should I still give it time? The ways people talk about others or share other people’s stories or secrets are what I try to pay attention to, to gauge my own openness with them. Being vulnerable is hard enough. My mom would tell me “you don’t have to tell everything to the whole world, you get to keep some secrets for yourself and you can take those to the grave”. And honestly, YEAH. I agree! It feels nice to have something for yourself too, that you can nurture and hold how you want, not how others tell you that you should.
oh my god the chameleon thing is so real!!! my coworkers that actually have the privilege of KNOWING™️ me have named my “straight” alter ego at the office “susan” 🙈🤭😹💀 also i love all of this! i’m very selective about who i feel comfy telling about the reason i’m no contact with certain family bc it’s been used against me by bone collectors in the past. i feel u on the adhd urge to overshare and connect, and working to find the balance somewhere in between the public library and the vault.
BAHAHAHA, "Knowing" with a trademark. That part. I really feel you on the existence of Susan, because working in construction, the shit these people would say to me all the time. I'm glad that I was able to pass for the most part, but sometimes one of them would get mouthy with me and gay-vestigate me. It was fucking uncomfortable. And this is all without mentioning the other bone collectors - the co-worker that watches tour every move to have dirt on you, etc etc. People are out here trying to fuck us up! And here I am, oversharing like I didn't learn my lesson. It's a tough balance to achieve.